Welcome to #occupybergdorfs, a weekly ruination of the absolute worst that the world of fashion has to offer. Each week, we’ll bring you a new eyesore, and break down exactly what makes this particular outfit “WTF”-worthy. A partnership between Change Machine (Jen Blair) and Super Roller Disco Monkey Hullabaloo (John Jarzemsky), #occupybergdorfs is dedicated to giving you that extra dose of schadenfreude you so desperately need to get you through the week.
Without further ado, may we present…
Marc Jacobs Wool Sequin Wave 3/4 Sleeve Tunic & Flared-Leg Pants
Price: $13,400.00 at Bergdorf Goodman
Who would wear this?
Jen: London trust-fund socialites. Wannabe London trust-fund socialites. David Bowie.
Best time to wear this?
John: If you were going to a space-themed costume party hosted by snooty rich assholes who would judge you if your outfit didn’t cost almost as much as the down payment on a house.
Worst time to wear this?
Jen: Casual lunches, daytime errand-running, meeting the future in-laws. Unless your future in-law is David Bowie.
Who (if anybody) can pull this off?
John: Someone like Stevie Nicks or Cher, or maybe the ghost of Liberace.
Is it fashionable?
Jen: For better or worse, printed pants are definitely having a moment.
Is it fairly priced?
John: …No. Women’s clothing, from my understanding, is usually heinously overpriced, especially when compared to men’s, but $13k for one outfit made of something other than baby-skin and diamonds should be cause for outrage.
What would you wear with this?
Jen: Statement platforms and a ray gun.
What would be a better use for the cash?
John: Well, $13k would pay the rent on a pretty decent room in Brooklyn for a year or so, but you could also spoil yourself with a slightly used mid-size sedan, or approximately 26,000 tacos from Jack in the Box.